INDIANAPOLIS -- This weekend marks my first Father's Day where I'll be on the receiving end of the celebration.
Our baby girl was born last November and she's not quite old enough to pick out any gifts, but I've never been one for presents, anyway.
In fact, I don't know any dads who really cherish receiving things on these kinds of holidays. My old man falls into that category, but he did love giving gifts, a trait he passed on to me.
For years, I sought to impress my dad with fancy, new technology, premium golf balls and luxury experiences that he would enjoy but never buy for himself.
Recently my father and I called a "gift-giving truce" because we kept trying to escalate the prize and "one-up" each other's present-giving game. It came about after I told him we were going to the Super Bowl for his 60th birthday (which never came to fruition because he dismissed it as ridiculous for me to pay for any of that, but one of these days...).
My dad also passed on to me the trait of just buying whatever was needed when it was needed, so please offer your pity for my wife - I'm not someone who likes to lead on what I want on such traditional occasions of generosity, because it's likely I've already got it (we're on the same budget, anyway).
But on this first Father's Day, I've gained a piece of wisdom with a newborn in the house: It's not about the tangible gift. It's not even about the act of giving.
It's about the experience.
My daughter changes every day. Her body changes, her demeanor changes and her interests change.
Her forehead grows. Her cheeks shift. Her grip gets stronger.
She makes a different letter noise while trying to talk. She figures out how a toy works. She realizes what her bottle means.
I love seeing her gaze caught by a new object, her interest piqued by a new sound or her face scrunch up when she tastes something her palette doesn't like.
Then there are all the milestones. The first smile. The first laugh that wasn't from tickling. Rolling over.
But there's so much more than that happening every day.
A quick story: In her first 5 months, she barely noticed our 55-pound black lab/pointer mix dog. He would always sit next to her and lick her head and hands, hoping to garner some attention from her, but she didn't budge. She was more interested in human faces and her bright colored toys.
Then one day about two months ago, he was lying next to her on the couch like he had done dozens of times before, and she caught him out of the corner of her eye, slowly moved her head in his direction and just started touching his fur, petting him. It was one of those "too precious" moments that I wouldn't trade for anything.
The two of them are inseparable now - She reaches her hand out at him whenever he's around, and he in turn lays on the puppy kisses. It's really hard to train a dog not to lick the baby when all the baby does is reach out to be licked. This is especially great to wrestle when we're feeding her solids.
All of this is an amazing metamorphosis that you see caterpillars undergo in time lapsed videos when they change into a butterfly, except it's happening right in front of you, every day, every minute.
I think I speak on behalf of any even-semi-involved dad: I don't want to miss a split second of that.
So for you new or semi-new parents out there, on this Father's Day, skip the bluetooth, infrared, temperature-reading grill tongs and forget the craft beer subscription box.
Rather, clear your calendar, put down your iPad and set up some fun activities for dad and the kids.
Here are some daddy-daughter/son friendly ideas to get the day rolling:
Brunch at Open Society in Broad Ripple
Most "trendy" restaurants that 30-somethings go to before they had kids are too cool for young ones. But this spot at 49th and College offers the best of both worlds: Kid-friendly in the front, with super-good coffee and a brunch experience that will make you think you're 25 again.
Mini-golf at the IMA
Even if you're not into art, if the weather holds up, a stroll in the IMA garden with mini-golf as a highlight for dad and the kids is an awesome hour to spend in the afternoon.
Rhythym Discovery Center
What dad hasn't dreamed of playing the drums in a rock band? This museum offers just that, and is a TON of fun for the kids too - From sensory experiences to being able to play instruments you won't find anywhere else, it's worth the price of admission and the noise.
An hour or two of dad time
As much as it is amazing to see your kids on Father's Day, dad still loves a bit of a break. When it's nap time, drop dad off at a bar with his dad friends or let him have the family room to himself for an hour or two to just relax.
Tibbs Drive-in movie theater
Dad doesn't get to go out to as many movies anymore, so why not bring the whole family to a kid-friendly, outdoor version. You can even put the kids to bed for the late, second showing with a nap in the car for some quality one-on-one mommy-daddy time.
Happy Father's Day!!
